


Bees Can't Fly In The Rain (Sollux x Reader)

by DrownedTrying



Series: Until Every Troll Is Free [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, End of the World, Eridan Ampora/Feferi Peixes Moirallegiance, F/M, Humans Suck, Kanaya Maryam/Karkat Vantas Moirallegiance, Karkat Needs a Hug, Karkat Swearing, Minor Aradia Megido/Equius Zahhak, Murder, Nurses & Nursing, One-Sided Jake English/Dirk Strider, One-Sided Nepeta Leijon/Karkat Vantas, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Rescue, Sad Sollux, Slaves, Sollux Captor/Aradia Megido Moirallegiance, Sollux with a Lisp, Trolls, Trolls (Homestuck), Trolls on Earth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-16 21:01:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11836968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrownedTrying/pseuds/DrownedTrying
Summary: The world as you knew it went to shit. Humans enslaved Trolls, and those who fought for peace were killed as an example.You work as a CNA in your town's hospital, and were on your way home when some assmunch beats on one of the smaller guys. You step in and ultimately seal your fate.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> (Y/N) - Your Name  
> (Y/L/N) - Your Last Name  
> (H/C) - Hair Color  
> (E/C) - Eye Color  
> (Y/T) - Your Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: counting sweeps makes my head spin. I get so confused, and I'm terrible at math. Someone pls help meh

This world absolutely _disgusts_ you. It seemed to go downhill since the trolls, a species both different and alike to your own, escaped to Earth as their planet, Alternia, was ultimately destroyed. You didn’t know much about why it was destroyed in the first place, but you were always too busy to watch the aftermath.

The trolls were strange, you must agree. They had weird labels for everyday objects, their skin’s gray, their teeth sharp, and they all bore horns. Cherry red blood, such as your own, wasn’t common, and, if you remember correctly from some old interview back before everything went to hell, the more royal trolls often culled the ones with the ‘mutant’ blood. 

But that didn’t mean they weren’t people.

They had their own lifestyle, their own ways of survival, their own means of getting through each day. They had their own language and their own hierarchy. They were as close to human as they could possibly get. 

Yet everything changed when someone imprisoned their queen. 

When Her Imperious Condescension was captured and forced to be a slave, everything turned into a shitstorm. The once peaceful streets were now filled with trolls of all ages being dragged around in a collar and chain, beaten in the middle of the streets, and often killed without mercy. Even the strongest of trolls stood no chance against your monstrous species. The humans used weapons of all sorts to get their way with the trolls: guns, knives, strangulation, starvation, even electrocution. Where the trolls had one or two, there were easily ten or more humans eager to fight back, even against a small child. It sickened you to see this. 

You scrunched your nose as you thought about this. It had been almost ten years since this had began, and nothing had gotten any better. Though there were peace riots, nothing changed. Those who rioted met their slow and painful deaths, and the trolls they protected died an even slower and more painful death. The government did nothing to stop it, which led everything to spiral out of control.

With a sigh, you leaned back against the chair of the bus. It had been a long day at work, as usual. You worked as a CNA in your town’s hospital, and as always, it was overflowing with angry family members declaring their loved one needed help **now.** To them, whoever owned the most trolls was the most wealthy, though you could care less. People needed help, and you didn’t have the time to discriminate. You were there to shut up, get your work done, get paid, and go home. How else were you to pay off your college loans?

“Next stop, 413th Ave!” the bus driver called out. You gathered your belongings and prepared to stand. Though it was your stop coming up, you still had quite a walk. The only space you could afford was some run-down apartment on the thirteenth floor of a shady apartment building. There were two bedrooms, a small kitchen, and one small, shitty bathroom. You made the best out of it, anyways. Keeping your small space clean and smelling decent helped you live through it. 

When the bus slowed to a stop, you stood, hefting your bag over your shoulder. You were careful to not trip over the other riders’ belongings, and you avoided eye contact with the enslaved trolls. They were not held to your responsibility, much to your disgust. What their owners did to them was their business, and if you tried to help the trolls, you _and_ the troll would be executed. You’d be doing more harm than good, and the trolls knew it.

The air was crisp, much better than the stuffy air the bus contained. That was to be expected, as it was nearing wintertime. A chill goes down your spine, reminding you that you need to bring a scarf to work tomorrow. The bus doors closed with a profound hiss before leaving you alone, driving off to wherever its next stop lay. You marched forward, shivering at the cold wind. Only a week until December, and you could have two weeks off. Normally, the hospital wouldn’t let their CNAs take that long of a vacation, but it was the only chance you could spend Christmas with your Uncle Tom before he went back overseas for work. You hadn’t seen him in so long, you began to forget what he had looked like. For now, you had pictures to go off of, but it was better than nothing.

“You filthy little mistake! I’m going to fucking kill you!” You turned your head towards the voice, snuggling your nose into your jacket. The male screaming attacked another being, possibly a troll. The nurse instincts took over you as you made your way towards the cries of pain. “Why won’t you just _die_ already?!”

“That’s enough!” you screamed, coming to a stop in front of the strange man. He was a good foot and a half taller than you, and the scars on his face intimidated you. The man sneered at you, turning away from the trembling figure he was previously beating.

“Oh? And what’s a puny bitch like _you_ going to do about it?” he sneered. You stayed where you were as he took a step towards you. 

“You’re messing with my property,” you growled, glaring at the man. He seemed to freeze, but read your name tag.

“You? A fucking CNA? You’re a filthy little liar. You can’t even afford a decent _house!”_ You raised an eyebrow.

“Oh? Just because I’m a CNA means that I can’t afford to have a fucking troll? You don’t even know who the fuck I am, and yet here you are, trying to downgrade me. I bet you didn’t know that to be a nurse, one must become a CNA. So that means when you’re out here on the streets, dying from a fatal stab wound, I’ll just turn a blind eye. Is it illegal? Yes, but it’s also illegal for one to damage another’s slave, is it not? So get the fuck lost, or _I’ll_ be the reason why you’re left here, bleeding out to your death,” you raged, your face turning a nice shade of crimson. With a last glance at the figure, the man stalked off.

“Fuckin’ lunatic,” you heard him mumble. You ignored him and made your way to the small figure. The troll had two sets of pointy horns, mustard-colored blood, and broken 3D glasses. His black shirt was dirtied and badly torn, his once-gray jeans looking the same. He had no shoes on, despite the cold, but it was to be expected for a troll. He was nothing but skin and bones, and though you couldn’t see his face, you could tell his cheeks were hollowed in, hugging his skull too tightly for your taste.

“Are you okay?” you finally asked, keeping your voice in a whisper. The troll flinched at the sound of your voice, expecting you to strike him. You did nothing of the sort. Instead, you stayed right where you stood, not moving in fear of scaring him off. The troll didn’t answer. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Y-You thaid you were,” his weak voice stammered. Heart? What heart? That was destroyed when you found him getting beaten.

“No, I didn’t,” you disagreed gently. “I only said you were my troll, and now you are. Come, let me bring you home.” You extended a hand to him, frowning when he doesn’t move. “You need to eat, and it’s not good for you to stay out here, especially not in this weather. Just come with me. I’ll take good care of you.” Since when did you become a blabber mouth? It’s like you can’t shut up. The troll slowly lifts his head after a moment of hesitation. You notice he’s a lot skinnier than you thought.

“Are you going to hurt me?” he asks, not looking at you. You smiled faintly.

“I already said I wasn’t, so come on. You need food.” After hesitating once more, the male shakily reaches towards your outstretched hand, struggling to stand. Furrowing your brow in concern and worry, you help the troll to his feet, noting how violently he trembles at your touch. Tears try to force themselves out your eyes, but you managed to hold them in. He’s so afraid of you, and that’s not right. 

With a grunt, you balance the both of you, along with your bag, which seems to get heavier the longer you carry it, before making your way towards your apartment. Any passerby you passed gave you strange looks, though a good portion were negative. You ignored them, too focused on the troll that seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness. 

“Almost there,” you mumbled, more to yourself than to the troll. You felt him nod weakly against your shoulder, his feet beginning to drag. What seemed like years, you both finally made it to your apartment building. You nodded to the security guard as you entered. Dave was a cool guy, way too cool to be caught up in the whole slavery business. You often shared your disgust with him when no one else was around. He agreed with everything you had to say, and even offered you protection when the time comes, whatever that means. Dave always had a weird sense of time, which used to baffle you. Now, you just sorta go with it. 

Dave returns the nod.

You struggle to bring the troll up the stairs. The damn elevator was broken, and it has been since you moved in during the summer. For some reason, management hasn’t bothered to hire someone to fix it. It was becoming a huge pain in your ass, and management should expect a long, well-written complaint in the morning. 

“You still with me?” you ask, partially carrying the troll at this point. You had made it to your floor, and your room was at the very end of the hall. You figure the universe has it out for you at this point. The troll barely nods, not even lifting his head. You really need to hurry up and get food in this little guy’s stomach.

**Reader === > Be the troll.**

You are now the troll. 

Your name is Sollux Captor, and _fuck,_ the universe really has it out for you. You’re ten sweeps old, roughly nineteen in human years. You were once a psiioniic, but due to the events that lasted five sweeps, you’re not allowed to use them anymore. Too many psiioniics have been culled for using their Jegus-given gift against the humans.

And man, do you hate these pink monkeys. 

You arrived to Earth when you just turned four sweeps old with your dad, the Helmsman, and your older hatch-mate, Mituna. Everything was going fine for about a sweep before the humans captured Feferi’s mom. Feferi and her female hatch-mate, Meenah, made a run for it, but were quickly captured as well. You remember hearing your dad talking about this with your best friend’s dad, known as the Signless. Both you and Mituna had snuck in to eavesdrop on the conversation, only to find out that Signless’ boys were there as well. Karkat was easily one of your best friends, even though he was terrible at dealing with husktops and was always so loud and shouty. His hatch-mate, Kankri, was even worse. That troll never seemed to shut up, ranting on and on about ‘triggers,’ whatever those were. How would you know? He’d talk for exactly sixty-nine minutes at a time, no more, no less. You’d much rather if he didn’t talk at all.

That was the last time you saw any of them. That night, you were sleeping in your recuperacoon, but when you woke, you were in a strange place, completely alone. You’ve been looking for your family ever since. 

Obviously, that plan isn’t working out so well, seeing as now, you’re barely able to keep your bicolored eyes open. You didn’t trust this (H/C) human at all. She comes out of nowhere and, quote en quote, ‘saves your life.’ If you were stronger, you’d get the hell away from her and make your way to a forest, which was your original plan since you were young. You don’t know which forest, though. It’s been a few sweeps since you last heard your dad tell you which forest to meet him at, if you survive. 

At this point, it doesn’t look like you will.

You just wish you had some energy to keep your eyes open. You don’t like the fact that this _human_ was dragging you to Gog-knows-where. Though...she’s really warm…

**Sollux === > focus.**

You try to focus, you really do.

It’s really hard to focus when you have no energy and you’ve been beaten nearly to death. It also doesn’t help that you haven’t eaten in about a week, much less have anything to drink. This building is also really nice and warm, so much better than the freezing outdoors. You’re beginning to regain the feeling in your feet and nose, suddenly becoming overheated. You make a small noise, gathering the attention of the human.

“Hey, hang in there. I just have to unlock the door,” she says, using her free hand to search in her bag. You didn’t even realize that you had stopped, but then again, your eyes had slipped shut. You faintly remember your glasses, but you suppose they’re rendered useless. They’re broken.

The click of a lock and the squeak of the door made your ear twitch. Something sweet-smelling hit you almost instantly, but it wasn’t too strong. It smelled faintly of some sort of sugary treat. It definitely wasn’t honey, much to your disappointment.

“I’m going to help you bathe, then we’ll get you something to eat, okay?” Does the human ever stop talking? It doesn’t seem like it, sadly. Kankri comes to mind, and you feel sadness wash over you. You miss the blabber mouth. 

You’re faintly aware of the human bringing you into a room that held an ablution trap. Is this what she means by bathe? **_Is she going to drown you??_**

With that thought, you shove her away weakly. You need to get away from here, but where is the exit? You can’t remember, which proves to be a problem. The human girl proves to be a _bigger_ problem as she grabs you a little too harshly for your liking.

“Hey! C’mon, you need to bathe! You need to be clean so I can tend to your wounds!” the human cries, panic filling her voice. Why is _she_ panicking? _You’re_ the one who’s scared, here! You don’t want to die! You have a family to look for! You have to get away from all of this torment!

The girl pauses, her (E/C) eyes trained steadily at you. You don’t even have to look at her to know you don’t like that look. You feel small.

“I have a proposition to make,” she says after a moment of studying you. You tilt your head towards her in curiosity, but you refuse to look her way. “I help you bathe, and when we’re done, I fix your wounds. Then, I’ll make you something warm to eat and find clothes that fit you. After that, you’re free to do whatever the fuck you want. Do we have a deal?”

You pause.

Her offer was tempting, but what did she mean by letting you do whatever the fuck you want? You can’t just leave; you’ll be killed. Slowly, sure, but killed regardless. You also can’t stay here. There’s no telling what that _human_ would do to you, especially if you-

Oh, would you look at that. You fell asleep. Nice going, numbnuts.

**Sollux === > Be the girl.**

You have no other choice but to be the girl, whatever that means. You were always you, so this thought left you confused. However, there’s no time to think about that. You have a troll passed out on your living room floor.

“Son of a bitch,” you curse, carefully pulling the troll up. You didn’t like how skinny he was, and it’s clear he passed out from lack of nutrition. At least bathing him would be easy.

With that thought in your mind, you half-carried, half-dragged the male into the bathroom. You slumped him on the toilet, making sure he was in no position to slide off or plummet face-first into the ground before starting the water. The water was nice and warm, but not too warm, as you put the stopper plug thing in its little hole. 

Wow, (Y/N). Great way of wording things.

You roll your eyes at yourself. You can be extremely stupid at times, and now is one of those times. 

Either way, the water stays in the tub and out of the drain. With careful movements, you remove the troll’s shirt, pants, and underwear. These are definitely going in the trash. You don’t blush when you see his body. You never have with your other patients, so why would you blush with a troll? This also isn’t your first rodeo with bathing a patient, though he is the first to be unconscious. 

You roll up your sleeves, a determined look set on your face. You got this. You totally do.

…

You don’t got this.

The troll woke up halfway through and threw a huge ass fit, completely drenching you with water. He had started screaming what you believe were obscenities in his tongue as he fought to get out of the water and out of your grasp, which led to him trying to yank you into the tub so he could get out. As a last resort, you had grabbed one of his larger horns, sighing in relief when he goes still, a distant look on his face appearing. You gently put him back in the tub, one hand massaging the horn, before gently rinsing off all the suds on his body. He only stared at you, his whole face yellow.

“There, that wasn’t so bad, now was it?” you ask, unclogging the tub. The troll nods and you frown. Of course he’d disagree with you. 

Pursing your lips, you grabbed the towel from under the sink and wrapped him in it. You only had the one towel, so you had to dry yourself the old fashion way. You weren’t too excited about that. 

“Let me take a look at your wounds, then we’ll grab you something warm to eat, okay?” The troll only stared at you with his bicolored eyes. It was beginning to get uncomfortable. Sighing, you pulled out your first aid kit and looked him over. Hundreds of scars littered his body in a lighter shade of gray, whereas the open cuts leaked his yellow blood. Working quickly, you put antibacterial cream on the cuts and bandaged him up, careful not to hurt him. The troll only watches as you clean him, wincing when a cut is touched. 

Whew, there. Finally done. You stand and pop your back before looking for some clothes for the troll to wear. Dave often stayed with you, claiming it was for ‘protection.’ You still don’t know what he means by that, but now’s not the time to dwell on it. You have a starving troll in your care. 

You rummaged through your closet until you found a pair of Dave’s old pajama bottoms and a broken record shirt, along with a pair of his boxers and mismatched fuzzy socks. They were obviously too big for the troll, but they would have to do. You shivered. You’d have to find a place for the troll to sleep, and some better clothing. Looking for a pen and paper, you began to make a list:

_**Shopping List** _

**Jacket**  
**Shirts**  
**Pants**  
**Boxers**  
**Socks**  
**Shoes**

You sighed. This would make a dent out of your wallet, but if it meant the troll in your bathroom got the chance to live, it would be worth it. You furrowed your brow. What did trolls sleep in? You knew it wasn’t a bed, so you’d have to find out what it was. Grabbing the clothes, you made your way back to the troll. Out of boredom, he was looking at the bottles of soap. You knocked gently against the doorframe to inform him of your presence, wincing as he jumps.

“I have some clothes for you,” you say, walking towards him. He simply blinks at you. Biting your lip, you gently help him get dressed. Surprisingly, he doesn’t put up much of a fight. Instead, he seems to snuggle into the clothes even more. “Let’s get you something to eat, alright?” The troll nods and shakily stands, swaying slightly. You help him balance before helping him into the kitchen to take a seat at the table. He watches you as you begin making a soup. “What’s your name?” you ask, stirring the contents in the pot.

“Tholluth,” he replies quietly. You turn to him with an eyebrow raised.

“Tholluth?” What a strange name. Tholluth frowns at you.

“I have a lithp,” he says. It takes you a moment before you realize his name’s _Sollux_ and not _Tholluth._

“Oh, sorry about that,” you say. You put a lid on the pot and turn to him. He’s looking around your small apartment with little interest, his eyes unfocused. “So,” you start, watching as he turns to you once more, “you’ll be taking my bed tonight. I’ll sleep on the couch, and tomorrow, we’ll go shopping to see what else you need. Speaking of which, what do trolls use to sleep in?”

“Well, we thleep in thethe cocoon type thingth called _reccuperacoonth._ They’re filled with thopor thlime, which helpth uth thleep and it helpth calm the vithionth of blood and dethtruction,” Sollux explains. You nod slightly. 

“Okay. Also, the soup’s ready, but it’ll be hot.” You notice Sollux looks uneasy. “Have you ever had soup before?”

“No,” he admits, looking down. “I’ve only had dead beathtth.” You furrow your brow before realising he said _beasts._

“That’s terrible,” you say as you pour him a bowl of soup. It was one of the _Olive Garden_ soups called _Zuppa Toscana._ Your mom would make it once every few weeks, making it less saltier and with more kale. It was nutritious, delicious, and perfect for the cold weather. You turned to Sollux and placed the bowl in front of him, the spoon in your hand. “Do you know how to use a spoon?” Sollux looks at you like you’re stupid.

“Of courthe I know how to uthe a fucking thpoon,” he snaps. You jump, your heart crying as he flinches. “Thorry! I’m thorry!” Sollux cries out, raising his hands in defense. “I have bipolar tendenthieth! Pleathe don’t hit me!”

“Why would I hit you?” you ask quietly. Sollux stills, staring at you in confusion and fear. “You just told me you know how to use a spoon, so why would I hit you for answering my question? Just be careful when you eat, and don’t force as much food down your throat, okay? You’ll get worse rather than getting better.” The troll watches as you stand and go to prepare your bedroom for him. You grab a pillow and throw blanket for your bed on the couch.

**Reader === > Be Sollux.**

You are now Sollux. 

You silently eat, watching the human. You just can’t grasp why this human would want to help you. You’re a troll, a nobody. Strangers will kill you without a second glance, and there was no doubt they would kill the girl as well. 

The girl…

You realize you don’t even know her name. Not that it would matter for long, anyways. Once you get better, you plan on getting the fuck out of there, even if it means using your psiioniics. You faintly wonder how long you’d be in this apartment. 

“How’s the soup?” the human asks. You jump out of reflex.

“It’th good,” you admit, taking another bite. It warmed your whole body and filled you up. It also made you feel drowsy, making you think the human put some sort of drug in it. You sniffed the soup at the thought, but finding no trace of drug, you take another bite. Maybe you’re just tired and the soup’s making you even more sleepy.

Whoops, your bowl’s empty. You’re tempted to get another bowl, but you figure the human girl’s right. Too much food at once in your condition would probably kill you. You might as well listen to her, seeing as she seems to know what she’s saying.

“You’re finished? Good. I have to make a call before we can go to bed, okay?” You nod, letting her carry your empty bowl off. You lean back, your small belly bulging from your meal. Damn, that was delicious. You close your eyes, listening as the girl makes a call. “Yes, this is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). I work as a CNA on South Wing in (Y/T) Hospital. I’m calling in for tomorrow. Something important came up.” She pauses. “Yeah, I have a family member drop in. He’s very sick, so I’ll be taking tomorrow to help him feel a little better. Yep, thanks, Karen. I’ll see you Friday. Goodbye.” 

Friday? Isn’t today Saturday or something? Maybe she works weekends. You open your eyes as the human walks back in, putting her phone on a charger. 

Oooh, electronics. It’s been a while since you’ve messed with electronics. 

“Sorry about that, Sollux. Now, let’s get you in bed, okay?” You nod and let her help you up. You’re still weak, and you’re still wary about the girl, (Y/N), you discovered, but you _really_ want to sleep. (Y/N) helps you into the human bed, covering you with the blanket. It was cold at first, but it quickly warmed up. You looked at the girl in confusion, whom offered you a sheepish smile. “It’s a heating blanket. I figured you’d appreciate it.”

“Thankth,” you reply, snuggling the blanket. This wasn’t a recuperacoon, but it would have to do for now. It’s been sweeps since you last slept in one, but tonight would probably be your best night’s sleep for the first time in a long time. Your eyes slipped shut, and you barely noticed the human girl turning off the light. She closes the door, smiling softly. You looked so peaceful, and she only hoped you would sleep well tonight.

“Goodnight, Sollux.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I'm on vacation in CA :3 I'm aware that this is unedited, so I'll go in later tonight and fix the mistakes. Enjoy the chapter!! <3
> 
>  
> 
> Edit: FINALLY did some editing. Being at the beach and trying to work will wear a girl out o.o

Everything is yellow. The tall, luminous buildings that towered over you, the bricks that formed long, winding roads, the stairs that climbed towards the sky and ended in a cathedral or courthouse; even your pajamas were yellow. It was much brighter than your mustard blood, but it was yellow nonetheless. The only items that weren’t yellow were your glasses, your shoes, and your being. 

It was oddly quiet here. Usually, your pals from Alternia would be buzzing with life, but you suppose they weren’t asleep yet. You doubt if they’d get any sleep any time soon. 

Looking around, you frowned. Even the annoying Prospitians were MIA. Usually, they’d be walking to and fro, meddling with others or trying to meddle with you. You often ignored them, but the fact still remains. With a soft sigh, you began flying towards the large chain that held the moon. Four humans were asleep in the towers, each in their respective room, yet to wake up. You honestly hated the fact that humans were even here. They’d cause trouble if they woke, and you’d all be DOOMed. You’d know.

You peeked through each of the four windows, glad that they were still sleeping. You and the others still had time to save the small planet, though part of you worried for Derse. Not once had you woken on Derse, which means that you have no idea if the other four humans were asleep or not, and that worried you. You already had enough on your plate worrying about Prospit crashing into Skaia; you didn’t need another planet to worry about. 

You sigh.

Tomorrow would be another night. If you decide to stay with the (Y/N) girl, you may be able to have enough time to save Prospit, and if fate allowed, to save Derse. You’d just need to _wake up._

A frown formed on your lips as you looked up towards Skaia. Strange lines were forming sentences that you couldn’t decipher. From all your sweeps on Earth, you weren’t allowed to learn their language, any of them. Not even their alphabet. It’s time for you to _**wake up**_ and learn something. More shapes. You wonder what they could mean?

**Sollux === > Wake up.**

You jump awake to something shaking you, and on instinct, you jump at them, your claws around their throat. Sparks that you had long believed were nonexistent flashed, blinding you as you let out a fearsome screech. You trapped them between your body and the floor, saliva dripping from your dual fangs as you readied yourself to destroy the threat.

“Sollux!” You froze, your psiioniics dying. Once you could properly see, you paled when you discovered (Y/N) on the ground, your claws squeezing her throat. Her face was a bright red, tears from lack of oxygen pooling in her eyes. You quickly let go of her before scurrying off of her shaking body. The human shakes violently as she coughs, holding her throat. You sat frozen in fear, just _waiting_ for her to grab something to beat you with. Your bicolored eyes trailed her as she stands, watching as she turns to pick something up.

You brace yourself for the blow.

The blow that never comes. Instead, (Y/N) turns towards you, a tray of food and a glass of some foreign beverage. She raises a concerned eyebrow at you, two red hand/claw marks forming around her throat. You gulp.

“Are you hungry?” she finally says, her voice raspy. You don’t answer, keeping your eyes trained on her. She sighs and puts the tray back down on the side table you didn’t even realize was there. “You looked like you were having a hell of a night, so I let you sleep in a little. You need to eat though, okay? I only made a slice of toast, a fried egg, and a few pieces of bacon, along with a glass of apple juice. Is that enough for you?”

“I don’t know,” you finally answer. The human frowns at your answer. 

“Either way, you need to eat. I’ll be back in a few minutes, so when I return, I want you to be eating, okay?” (Y/N) nods once when you nod slightly before exiting the room. You stare at the plate of food and the glass of ‘apple juice.’ Sniffing the air, you reached towards the plate and grabbed a piece of meat. After making sure it wasn’t poisoned or anything, you took a bite. If you had pupils, you sure sure they’d be blown wide by now at the flavor that exploded in your mouth. 

You chewed slowly, your eyes slipping shut in pure bliss as you ate this ‘bacon’ substance. It was salty, juicy, and crunchy all at once, but it also had a sweet, crispy layer of some form of sugar coating the piece of meat nicely. Your new favorite food was bacon.

When you finished with that slice, you moved onto the thing called ‘toast.’ It was crispy and seemed to have grub sauce spread on it. One bite told you that it wasn’t grub sauce, but something _way_ better. 

The egg seemed to beckon your name, but seeing as your hands were too oily to hold a fork properly, you used your piece of toast to break the yellow sphere on top. Yellow goop spilled out onto your toast, covering it evenly. Seeing as you were going to eat it anyways, you bit off the portion of the toast that was covered in the yellow egg. 

You were not disappointed. 

Your meal was quickly devoured, which resolved _that_ issue. However, a problem still remained. After scarfing down your meal, you found yourself _incredibly_ thirsty. Your eyes flickered to the glass of apple juice. Perhaps that would satisfy your need for a beverage. You picked up the glass and sniffed the juice, cringing your nose slightly. It didn’t smell _bad,_ per se, but it didn’t smell the most appetizing, either. Shrugging, you drank the juice in a way that looked like taking a shot, whatever that was. You have no knowledge what a shot is, and you briefly wonder what made you think of one. Instead, you stare at the glass that held a few droplets of the apple juice.

It tastes like something only douchebags named Dave or some shit would drink.

“Oh, you’re already finished,” (Y/N) says as she enters. You jump slightly, looking over at her. A few folded clothes were in her arms, along with some long, dangly thing that briefly reminded you of ED’s scarf. Man, if you see his scarf _one more time-_ “Are you going to get dressed?” You blink and look up at the human.

“Thure,” you say, shakily standing. You felt it was beginning to get easier to stand, but you had no way of knowing for certain. Maybe it was the bacon activating some sort of power that let you stand. Rolling your eyes at the thought, you took the clothes from her and stripped from your previous apparel. (Y/N) left, silently closing the door as you changed into a black, long-sleeved shirt, blue jeans, fuzzy red and green socks, a pair of too-small shoes, and a weird-looking scarf. You get the sudden urge to hang yourself with it, just so you know the pain ED will be feeling when you strange him with his stupid scarf, if he still even has it.

“You ready? We’re going shopping,” (Y/N) says from behind the closed door. You go towards the door, hand stretched out to open it, but you freeze. If your psiioniics were flaring up when you awoke, doesn’t that mean you still have them? That you could still control them? Narrowing your eyes at the door handle, you focused on using your psiioniics. You felt weak waves of energy pulse through your being, your eyes beginning to glow with red and blue sparks of electricity. Directing the energy towards the door handle, you pictured it turning. You watched in glee and in pride when the handle began to turn. That is, until (Y/N) suddenly barged in.

“Augh!” you screamed, jumping back. The psiioniics dissipated into the air, leaving the room with a static-y feel. (Y/N) raised an eyebrow at you.

“Didn’t you hear me? I said we’re going shopping. We need to hurry so we don’t catch the lunch rush,” she says, probably wondering why you’re on the floor, your chest heaving, and your whole body shaking. “Are you, ah, are you okay, Sol?” You frown. You _hate_ that name. ED used to mock you _all the **fucking** time_ with that name. The next time you see him, you’re going to give him hell for it.

“I’m fine,” you hiss out, glaring at the floor. The human girl nods slowly, watching as you stand.

“Sorry that the shoes are a bit small. They’re the biggest I have.” You shrug, walking up to her. “You ready to go?” You nod and follow her out of the apartment.

**Sollux === > Be the girl.**

You are now the girl.

Which confuses you once more. What’s with these thoughts? You thought you made it clear that you’ve always been you, and no one else. You faintly wonder if there’s some ungodly figure watching you from behind some sort of screen, typing out commands that resonates as a voice in your head.

You shake your head, ruling out that possibility. What’s important now is that you have to get your troll - I mean, _Sollux -_ some clothes. You didn’t have too much money to spend, so you had to get as much as possible with some money left over. 

Sollux follows you silently down the hall and to the stairs, his gaze boring into the back of your head. You tried to ignore it, you really did, but it made you feel extremely uncomfortable. It made you wonder if humans were always so nasty to trolls like him. Then again, it wasn’t exactly something you wanted to figure out. Sure, you saw the _results,_ but you never really knew, nor experienced, what exactly happened. With a glance at Sollux, who continued to stare you down, you knew that whatever the humans did to him left a permanent mental scar, and it was massive.

“So,” you finally speak up, hoping to destroy the awkward silence, “we’re going to be doing a bit of acting today.”

“Acting?” he repeats. You nod, looking back at him.

“Sadly, yes. If other humans think I’m being nice to you, we’re both done for. So, that means-”

“You have to be a bitch to me, and I have to ‘act’ like a fucking thlave,” the troll cuts you off. Your eyes are downcast with guilt as you nod.

“Yeah…”

“But you won’t actually hurt me, right? You thaid you wouldn’t,” he says, a hint of anger behind his words. You tighten the scarf around your neck, hoping to hide the handprints.

“And I’m going to keep that promise. Just know that if anyone becomes a little bit suspicious, I’ll have to hit you against the back of your head. However, I’ll tap my thigh twice so you don’t get caught off guard,” you reply. You stop on a landing upon noticing your troll huffing for air.

“Thoundth good,” Sollux gasps. You wait for him to regain his breath before continuing to descend.

“There shouldn’t be many people around at this time of day, so let’s just get what you need and hurry back. I’ll ask Dave to accompany us so he can help carry the cocoon thingie you sleep in,” you say.

“Recuperacoon,” he corrects. You lift a shoulder in a shrug, opening the door to the lobby. Sollux follows you, looking around the lobby the same way he looked through your apartment: with little interest. Dave is leaning against the counter, a pair of headphones on his head. He nods his head to the music he listens to, his eyes presumably closed. When he doesn’t respond to you calling his name a few times, you turn to Sollux.

“You can use psiioniics, right?” you ask. Sollux frowns darkly.

“Barely,” he spits. You smile.

“Good. I need you to pick up a stone or a pencil or _something_ and throw it at him.” You wave your hands when he bends down to pick up a stray pebble that conveniently sat in the corner of the room. “No, with your psiioniics. You need to get better with them, anyways.”

“And what maketh you thay that?” Sollux snaps, focusing on the pebble. Red and blue sparks crackled around his eyes, weakly beginning to circle the pebble. You watched in awe before remembering to answer his question.

“Well, I did some reading last night, and it said that psiioniics can become very powerful, right? Enough to be a power source?” Sollux stilled at that, the pebble he was beginning to levitate dropping. “Well, if you get strong enough with your psiioniics, you’d have a better chance at escaping, which means you can disable anything electronic that’s being used against you,” you continued. The troll says nothing, continuing to focus on the pebble. You watch as the pebble levitates in the air for a good thirty seconds before being shot at Dave.

“HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKING CUNT BLASTERS!” Dave screams, falling over. You burst out laughing, hugging your stomach as tears spring to your eyes. Sollux looks at you with a raised eyebrow, but remains silent. His gaze shifts to the albino, watching as the normally cool guy has a mini panic attack. 

“I _finally_ got you, Strider!” you say between fits of laughter. Dave readjusts his sunglasses and frowns at you, walking over.

“That was so uncool,” he huffs, for once not coming up with a weird analogy. He must be pretty ticked if he isn’t making analogies. You straighten yourself, holding back some remaining giggles.

“Sorry, but you weren’t just going to listen to me, and you know I’m not going to lay a finger on the cool guy.” Dave puffs out his cheeks. Sollux frowns darkly at the male.

“Yo, why’s the troll carving me open with his eyes?” Dave asks, noticing Sollux’s glare. You glance at the troll before shrugging.

“No clue. Anyways, Dave, this is Sollux. Sollux, Dave,” you introduce, smiling at the boys. Dave holds out his fist for a fistbump.

“Sup,” Dave says. When Sollux makes no move to return the fistbump, Dave puts his hand in his pocket. “Not the talkative type. ‘s cool.” Sollux frowns more, clenching his hands. You notice and quickly put an arm around Sollux.

“We were going to get some stuff for him, and we wanted to know if you could come with us. Whaddoyasay?” Dave raises one of his huge ass eyebrows at you, seemingly in thought.

“Sure,” he finally says. Sollux growls darkly in response. You both look at him in confusion before shrugging at each other. The three of you made your way out the door and towards a random store. Sollux fell in step with you, glaring as Dave walks ahead.

“I don’t like him,” he hisses silently to you. You glance at him.

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t know,” he admits, “I jutht don’t like him.” Noticing a couple glaring at you, you tap your thigh twice before slapping the troll upside his head.

“How _dare_ you, you fucking mistake! When I tell you something, you do it!” you screech. Sollux looks genuinely hurt and _scared,_ and **that** hurt you. You swallow down your pity and attempt to look angry. “Next time I hear you saying shit, I’ll fucking cut your tongue out! Do you fucking understand me, or is your brain too rotten to understand a damn word I’m saying?!” A whimper escapes the troll’s lips, his whole body shaking. 

You decide to drink bleach when you get home.

The couple that glared at you looked pleased before walking away, their noses in the air. Dave had stopped and was staring at you, because honestly, you _never_ acted like that, _especially_ towards trolls. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the troll that had trusted you. No, not _the_ troll. 

Sollux.

“C’mon, guys. Let’s go,” Dave says, hoping to relieve the tension that was growing. You were growing _oh so **angry**_ with yourself, but it appears Sollux thinks your anger is towards _him._

Sollux looks so scared of you. His ears are flat, his body trembles, and yellow tears gather in his red and blue eyes. You open your mouth to speak, but no words escape. There was nothing you could say that would fix it, and you knew it. You had honestly believed that he had seen you tap your thigh, but it’s so obvious that he hadn’t.

“(Y/N), Sollux, let’s go,” Dave persists gently. You finally tear your eyes away from the troll and nod, walking towards the albino. Your shoulders slump and you can’t find the strength to lift your chin.

“Okay,” you say softly. You hear Sollux follow, but he keeps his distance. It breaks your heart, and you hate yourself even more.

********

“Sollux, I’m so sorry,” you say, closing the door to your apartment. Said troll doesn’t respond, keeping his eyes trained on the floor. Dave had placed the recuperacoon in the spare room, and was kind enough to take the bed apart and bring it to the basement for you. The cool guy had just left, after helping you fill Sollux’s closet with new clothes and shoes. You swallowed thickly, wondering what you should do.

**(Y/N) === > Be Sollux.**

You are now Sollux.

Though honestly, you really don’t want to be Sollux right now. That human broke what little trust you had for her. Sure, it might’ve been a misunderstanding, but it still _hurt._ She could’ve worded things differently, she could’ve made sure you saw the signal, she could’ve-

The human wraps her arms around you, burying her face in your back. You tense, your eyes widening. Neither of you say a word as she continues her strange embrace while you stare at the floor, your body beginning to tremble. You _really_ don’t want to be touched right now, _especially_ not by _her._

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles. You can feel her words rumbling against your back, but you made no motion to move. “It was so wrong of me, and I regret it. I should’ve given you a better sign when I knew you weren’t paying attention.”

“Please thtop touching me,” you whisper, feeling your anxiety wash over you. (Y/N) pulls away slightly, only enough to look up at the back of your head.

“What?” 

“THTOP FUCKING TOUCHING ME!” you scream, your psiioniics kicking in and throwing her across the room. (Y/N) slams against the wall, dropping to the floor like a sack of sopor slime. Realizing your mistake, you rush over to her, quickly checking to see if she’s seriously injured. “I’m tho thorry!” you say, tears falling. You repeat the phrase countless times, helping her sit up. (Y/N) looks up at you with unfocused eyes.

“Sollux, it’s fine. You didn’t mean to,” (Y/N) slurs. You pull at your hair.

“But it’th _not_ fine! I could’ve killed you!”

“But you didn’t,” she argues, gently grabbing your hands. You’re shaking as she reaches up and wipes at your eyes. Yellow tears coat her fingers as she wipes them away, looking more concerned about you than about herself.

“Pleathe don’t make me go away,” you whisper, your lower lip trembling. The human smiles sadly at you.

“You know I won’t. Come on, let’s get some lunch, then we’ll figure out what we’ll do. Sound good?” You nod and help her stand, following her into the kitchen. She makes a simple meal that smells delicious, but you don’t feel hungry. The (H/C) girl seems to notice and glances at you. “You need to eat, Sollux,” she reminds. You look down.

“I know,” you respond. The human nods and continues to cook, leaving you to your thoughts. One thing was for sure.

You _have_ to find a way to apologize and thank her for her kindness.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry for my absence! There's a huge bug going around, and seeing as I have a weak as shit immune system, I've been bed-ridden for a good 2-3 weeks. I'm feeling better, and I'm getting around to updating my fanfics.
> 
> Speaking of, I'm currently working on the first chapters of two new fics. One is a Merstuck!Dirk x Reader, and the other is a Ticci Toby x Reader. Not only that, but I'm also working on a Vampire!Eridan x Sollux x Xefros fanfic. Since I've been MIA for a while, and sadly will be MIA for a little while more due to a huge project I'm working on, I figure I'd provide you all with some material to keep you entertained. Some of you probably have been around since my first fanfic on this site (if you haven't read it, you can if you want, but it's discontinued so I can rewrite it), which is surprising, honestly. I hope to grow as an author, and I hope you all stick around for the bumpy ride!
> 
> So, as I mentioned, I'll be MIA for a while due to a due project. I'm knitting seven hats and scarves, not to mention a scarf I'm trying to finish at the moment. The news is saying that it's going to be a freezing winter up here in the northwest, so I'm trying to keep my family warm. 
> 
> I can't make any promises for when I update one of my fanfics, but keep an eye out, and don't be afraid to comment! I'll be responding to them (except for negative comments telling me to hurry up and update), and even if you want to chat, I'm all for it.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Edit: Ticci Toby x Reader is now up. Feel free to check that out!

This planet honestly surprised you. 

You’ve never been here before, and everything was so _purple._ It’s your first time waking up on Derse, and you had no idea what to do. Is this just a weird dream, a place purely created by your imagination? You thought it was, but with the strong scents, the too-realistic breezes, even the surreal feeling of every texture you put your hand on, made it hard to believe it was fake. 

Looking around, you felt alone. There was no one in sight, and you weren’t sure if there were other humans on this purple planet, whatever its name was. Biting your lip, you began walking around. It was void of life, but it was clear there were people living there, wherever they are. You explored for who knows how long, looking for another human - or troll, for that matter - to communicate with.

You’ve never felt so alone in your life.

That is, until you felt something poke you between the shoulderblades, leaving you as still as a statue.

“W-Who the fuck are ya, an’ w-water are ya doin’ here?” a male voice growled. You were too shocked to answer, earning a sharp shove from whatever’s poking you. “ANSW-WER ME!”

“I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N), and I don’t know how I got here!” you cried out, your hands shaking. Whatever was pressed against your body didn’t leave, but dug into your back more.

“Ya don’t belong here, land dw-weller,” the voice hissed. You closed your eyes, trying to hold back tears. _”Especially_ a _human,”_ he spats. 

“I don’t mean any harm. Can we talk like people? Please?” You thank whatever god is out there that your voice didn’t tremble. 

“An’ w-why w-would I w-want to do _that?_ You humans kill my kind, so w-why should I treat ya any different?” 

“Because I’m taking care of a troll named Sollux!” you rush. The troll behind you stilled. You couldn’t even hear his breathing.

“Sollux?” he finally repeats. You nod. “Sollux Captor? Left eye is blue, right eye is red? Kinda nerdy an’ has an annoyin’ lisp?”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it _annoying,_ but yeah, that’s the guy,” you say. The pointy thing is finally removed, and you breathe a sigh of relief. You turn, only to see a tall troll with hipster glasses and lightning-shaped horns, his bangs dyed purple and slicked back and in his hands was a peculiar-looking rifle. He looks shocked.

“Is he okay? How’s he doin’? W-Where are ya keepin’ him?” You blinked, but noticed the purple tears in his eyes.

 _Oh, he’s a highblood,_ you think, looking him over. You then proceed to mentally slam your face into a brick wall, noticing his earfins and gills on his neck, not to mention the _purple in his hair._

“He’s not in good shape,” you admit, “but he’s in good hands. I’m a CNA, and his wounds are being treated. He has his own room in my apartment in (Y/T). In fact, we went and got some clothes and a recuperacoon for him today. He should be gaining weight in no time, and he’s beginning to gain use of his psiioniics again.” The troll looks relieved, looking away as he runs a hand through his hair. 

“Thank cod,” he mutters, tears still in his eyes. “I thought he w-was dead. I mean, I hate him an’ all, but there’s so few-w of us,” he trails off. You felt a pain in your chest as you watched the troll. He turns to you and smiles sadly. “I’m Eridan Ampora, by the w-way.” You smile and hold your hand out to shake.

“Nice to meet you,” you say, smiling more as he takes your hand and shakes it. “Where are you located at? It’d be nice for Sollux to find his friends.” Eridan scrunched his face, looking as if he were trying to remember.

“I think on the W-West Coast. I’m used as a slav-ve for fishin’ an’ w-whatnot,” he says. You nod, furrowing your eyebrows. It would be quite a drive, especially with the traffic, but you figure you’d be fine. The only problem: you’d need to buy bus tickets, and those cost a pretty penny.

“What if I brought Sollux to visit?” you suggest. Eridan’s eyes go wide as he quickly shakes his head.

“If ya did, both of ya w-would be killed! Ev-ven if ya w-weren’t, they’d take him an’ use him as a battery!” You frown, your eyes filling with tears. You opened your mouth to speak, but froze. An odd scent filled the air.

“Do you smell that?” you ask, looking around. Eridan smells the air and shakes his head.

“Nope. Do ya think yer about ta w-wake up?”

“Wake up?” you question. Eridan nods.

“Yeah, w-wake up. Yer on Derse, after all,” he informs. You give him a confused look.

“What’s Derse?” you ask. The highblood gives you an incredulous look.

“Yer kiddin’ me, right?” he deadpans. You shrug your shoulders, feeling quite stupid. “Ugh, _fin._ Since yer aboat ta w-wake up, I’ll tell ya all aboat Derse w-when ya come back. Just do me a fav-vor an’ tell Sol I said hi.” You were about to reply when you wake with a start, smelling smoke. Eyes wide, you jump out of bed and sprint to the kitchen. Sollux is standing by a smoking pan of...something, the toaster smoking as well. When the troll notices you, his ears flatten to his head, shrinking as small as he can get.

“Th-thorry! I wanted to make you breakfatht!” he cries out. However, you’re more worried about a flame that peaks its orangey head.

“I’m not worried about that, Sol. Let me take care of this first, okay?” Sollux nods and looks down, moving out of the way as you rush for the fire extinguisher. You spray the white, foamy chemicals over the stove, successfully putting out the flame. Tossing the hot pan into the water-filled sink, you move to the windows and open them all. Sollux watches you silently, yellow tears in his eyes.

“I’m thorry,” he whispers. You look over and smile softly.

“For what? I’m not mad at you, Sollux. Have you ever cooked before?” The mustard-blood shakes his head, a yellow blush dusting his hollow cheeks. It takes you a second to decide what you’re going to do.

**(Y/N) === > Do what you’re going to do.**

Oh, there’s that weird voice again. Knowing that it’s not the last time you’ll hear from it, you decide to listen to it.

You do what you’re going to do.

Which is clean the kitchen. 

You make quick work of the kitchen, and it had only taken you twenty-two minutes and twenty-two point two seconds to clean it, not that Sollux was counting or anything. Then again, you wouldn’t know that, now would you? 

You don’t know that he was counting how long it took you to clean.

“So,” you say, washing your hands once the kitchen is spotless, aside from the pan in the sink, “after I finish washing my hands, I want you to wash yours.” Sollux nods, albeit confused, but waits until you finish washing your hands to wash his. As he scrubs any germs and grime from his hands, you begin pulling out different ingredients and kitchenware. Sollux raises an eyebrow, but says nothing as he turns to you, drying his hands on a paper towel.

“Are you cooking?” he asks. You shoot him a grin.

“No, _you_ are.” A look of panic forms on the troll’s face.

“What?! You thaw what happened when I tried to before!” he cries. The grin on your face grows.

“That’s why I’m going to teach you,” you say. Sollux looks confused for a moment.

“What’re we making?” You hand him the blue and red apron that he had chosen the day before, helping him put it on without getting it caught in his horns. Pulling on your (F/C) apron, you gesture to the ingredients you had set on the counter.

“We’re going to make grits with fried eggs, toast, and bacon. Easy to learn, but not too simple, like cereal and milk,” you tell him. Sollux ponders this for a moment before nodding. You take that as a sign to continue. “First up is the eggs and bacon, since they take the longest. You always want to start with the dish that has to cook the longest, just so any other dish, in this instance, the toast and grits, are still warm by the time the eggs and bacon are finished.” The lowblood nods to show he’s listening, watching curiously as you turn on two of the burners, placing a pan over each flame and putting a small slab of butter in the middle of the kitchenware. Grinning, you hand him an egg once the butter completely melts.

“What do I do with thith?” he questions. 

“So, watch what I do. I’m going to gently hit the egg on the side of the counter until it cracks. When it does, I’m going to crack the egg over the pan so that its insides are in the pan.” As you explain your actions, Sollux watches with great interest. He notes that not a single piece of eggshell joins the yolk and whites in the pan. “Now, you try,” you encourage with a smile. Biting his lip nervously, Sollux cracks the eggshell with a bit of difficulty, watching as some of the goop spills onto the counter. When you say nothing, he cracks open the egg over his pan, wincing when he sees eggshell bits in the whites of the egg.

“Shit...I’m tho thorry,” Sollux says, his shoulders slumping. His head jerks up when he hears your gentle laugh.

“Why are you sorry? When this happens, all you need to do is wet your finger with water, then just pick it up. It’s no big deal, Sol. But be careful. The pan’s hot,” you tell him. With confidence, Sollux does as you instruct, grinning when he successfully picks out every piece of the shell without harming himself.

“Tho,” he speaks up, his back straight with pride as he flashes you a crooked grin, “what’th netht?”

**Dave === > Follow the odd smell.**

_Odd_ smell? You mentally correct the voice that pops into your head, telling you what to do, thinking they were some overlord in a fucking ironic game that destroys the Earth, only for you and three friends to play and beat the game and create a parallel universe where your guardians play the exact same game and inevitably meet up with you and your friends to have some weird ass not-family-but-still-family-in-a-ecobiological-way family reunion.

Of course, nothing like that would actually ever happen, nor would ever exist, not in this timeline or in any others.

Time is fucked up and is clearly something you should never mess with, you conclude. You mentally shudder at the thought of being surrounded by doomed Daves and dead Daves. Of course, you don’t actually shudder, because cool people don’t do shit like that unironically, and everyone, trolls and humans and every fucking creature that has ever glanced your way, knows that you only do shit for the ironics.

**Dave === > Stop being an idiot and follow the odd smell.**

Well, well, _well._ Someone’s a little grouchy today, aren’t we?

You point out to the voice that you’re not an idiot, but actually highly educated and would gladly show anyone and everyone ironically. Of course, no one would take you seriously at first, but when you bust out those sick beats with those long ass words only English professors take time to look up and use in everyday life like a cultured genius surrounded by uncultured fucks, shit gets real quiet. Not a damn peep from your peers, gazing in awe and amazement as your rhymes shake them to their mortal souls and bring a tear to their goddamn eyes, making them rethink everything they once thought they knew and make them realize that, in a totally ironic way, you are their master, and they are your bitch.

**Dave === > Oh my god. Just follow the fucking smell!**

You decide to give in to the voice, but what the voice doesn’t realize is that you already followed the smell to (Y/N)’s apartment.

**Dave === > Realize that I fucking hate you with a burning passion.**

Duly noted.

The lingering smell of smoke raised red flags, but since it’s faded, you figured that it was purely an accident that your friend happened to fix on her own. What mainly masked the smokey scent was something delicious. Something you haven’t had in fucking forever.

For ironic purposes, of course.

One hundred percent sure you weren’t showing any emotion, you raised your pale fist and knocked an ironic tune on the door, waiting for (Y/N) to answer. You mentally counted the seconds it took for her to answer the door, which was exactly forty-three point seven one seconds, which is also too long to ironically leave a cool guy like you waiting. Your fist was raised to knock again when she opens the door. She looks like she had just woken up; her hair was a rat’s nest, dark circles were still under her eyes, her pajamas were wrinkled from sleep. 

“Sup,” you say, burying your hands deep into your pockets. (Y/N) beams brightly at you.

“Dave! Come on in! We’re just about to start eating!” You step inside her apartment when she moves to the side, looking around to see what had previously burned. From the way the stove and toaster bore burn marks, not to mention the burned-as-hell pan in the sink, you pieced together that it was an episode of Breakfast Gone Bad. You quickly notice red and blue sparks of electricity carrying silverware to the table with some difficulty. (Y/N) must be having Sollux working on his psiioniics.

“Sup,” you chirp to Sollux. Wait, no. You don’t fucking chirp.

What are you, a crow?

“Ugh, you again?” Sollux groans, levitating another set of silverware and a plate unwillingly for you. You almost smirk at that.

Almost.

“Baby, I haven’t seen you in forever. Don’t tell me you didn’t miss your Daddy and his big as hell dick. _‘Mr. President, there’s a cool guy with a huge dick, Sir.’_ **‘Oh yeah? How big is it?’** _‘It’s the size of Texas, Sir.’_ **’OH SHIT.’** _’Sir, I’m afraid the cool guy’s dick is bigger than your personality squared infinity.’_ **’OH SNAP.’** _’Sir, are you familiar with Jupiter?’_ **’You mean like the planet?’** _’Yeah. Well, it’s that big, Sir.’_ **’Hmm, that sounds pretty big. I have a question. Is it Jupiter?’** _’It might as well be, Sir. Earth is literally holding a dick the size of fucking Jupiter.’_ **’OH SHIT.’”**

“I fucking hate you,” Sollux growls. You allow a small smirk to show, practically sensing the hatred he radiates towards you. Of course, you don’t care for ironic purposes. (Y/N) shakes her head, her eyes squeezed shut as her pointer finger and thumb pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I am _so_ sorry for his behavior, Sollux,” she says.

“I’m not,” you immediately say. Sollux frowns as you as (Y/N) sighs.

“You get used to it,” she mumbles, shaking her head slightly. Sollux frowns more.

“No I won’t.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” (Y/N) admits.

“So, are going to eat or what?” you ask, beginning to eye the unopened bottle of apple juice that sat innocently on the table. You could practically hear the sweet nectar of the gods calling your name, beckoning you with the sight of its gold liquid deliciousness. Shit doesn’t get more real than an unopened bottle of AJ waiting patiently for it to be sipped by the one deemed worthy enough to taste its sweet, juicy fluids. 

**Dave === > Stop making everything sound sexual.**

No.

“Yeah. Sollux and I made the eggs, toast, grits, and bacon. I put your apple butter out for your toast, along with honey and grape jelly. Help yourselves, boys,” your amazing host says. Almost immediately, the three of you pile your plates with food. 

As you slather a good amount of apple butter on your toast, you notice that Sollux doesn’t grab as much food as you or (Y/N) do, but still gathers a good amount. Though it’s been two days, you’re already seeing an improvement in the troll’s health and attitude. He’s standing straighter and with more confidence, and he’s beginning to look less than a skeleton. The troll’s wounds still look terrible, but you know that while he’s in (Y/N)’s care, his injuries will heal quickly. 

You feel a slight pang of jealousy as you sit at the table, watching from behind your beloved shades as (Y/N) smiles at Sollux, sitting at one end of the table. Sollux sits across from you, a light yellow beginning to appear on his face. Your friend doesn’t seem to notice as she begins to eat her meal.

“This tastes amazing,” she practically moans. A shiver runs down your spine, but you ignore it. It’d be totally uncool to go after your best friend, and you thought you had pushed those feelings away to nonexistence. Sadly, they don’t seem to want to be shoved under the rug like the animals in _Snow White_ trying to hide the dust under the rug in the dwarfs’ cottage, only to be caught by the maiden herself. You faintly have the thought that her description sounds like a vampire’s, but you quickly push it under the rug as well, shoving a bite of toast in your mouth. 

“Hey, you made it, too,” Sollux says. (Y/N) laughs softly, and you almost choke on your toast. To hide this, you pour yourself a glass of AJ, quickly gulping it down. (Y/N) pays no attention to this, seeing as she knew how much you loved the beverage. Hell, for Christmas last year, she had gotten you twenty jugs of apple juice.

They were all gone by the end of the night, and (Y/N) hadn’t swallowed a drop of it.

Hell yeah, motherfuckers. The liquid gold was drank by you and you alone.

“Oh, Sollux,” the girl says after swallowing her bite of food. You both look up at her curiously. “I had this really weird dream last night.”

“Tho…?” the troll drew out. You frown slightly at him, but the frown is gone instantly, your face going back to its usual poker face.

“Well, there was this guy in it. A troll named Eridan. He told me to tell you ‘hi.’” Sollux freezes, his face pale and his eyes wide.

“Eridan?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Comments are always appreciated! (Who actually read the long ass chapter note in the beginning, tho?)


	4. A/N

So, not an update, but moreso an announcement. I'm sorry for not updating in, well, forever. I've been working as a CNA (my inspiration for this fic), and I'm actually starting college tomorrow for my prereqs in nursing! Honestly, I'm pretty nervous. 

However, though I may not update this fic for a while longer (I'm in a major writer's block with this fic, and I have been for months), I DID come out with a new fanfic. Sigh, yes, I know. I don't update this fic, yet I start a new one. I know. Pretty fucking lame of me. However, I was hoping this new fic could keep you guys satisfied until I come out with a new chapter for this fic. It's called My Big Responsibility, and you have the choice to choose who to see next. I'll leave a link below, but you can also view my profile and click on it there. 

Until next time!

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16043876

Also, if you have a suggestion for this fic, PLEASE let me know. It'll be a great help!

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think about this fanfic! If I make any spelling mistakes, please tell me so I can correct them.


End file.
